Why Domestic Violence Victims Don't Leave.

A student group did a presentation in class about domestic violence that featured Eminem's music video "Love the Way You Lie." Rihanna is also in the music video as she is a singer on the music track. Watching the video triggered lots of people in class - mostly female - and it was very touching hearing their stories. I even hugged a few of the women after class who shared their stories.

One of the things that I noticed most about class that evening was the argument that domestic violence abuse could be something that both parties (i.e. male and female) experience in a relationship. Dr. Everbach quickly pointed out that statistics show that it is women that suffer more at the hands of men when it comes to domestic abuse. While I do believe this to be true, I think it's only fair to point out that it is possible for men to be abused as well.

Thank goodness, I've never been in a abusive relationship, but I've seen violent fights among couples with the most notorious being Rihanna. Years ago when she was dating Chris Brown, I did some part-time work for her hairstylist. This meant that lots of times I had to show up to shoots where I actually got to meet and chat with Rihanna herself (she's really nice and down to earth) as well as hang out with her crew. Sometimes Chris would come around and they would hang out on breaks (those shoots could go on for hours!). They seemed like a really nice couple until one day he came to set and they got into a fight. I'd noticed before he arrived that Rihanna was in a bad mood and I'm not quite sure what they were arguing about, but it got physical fast. The body guards rushed over to break it up and I remember being so freaked out and wondering what the hell was going on. I didn't see the whole thing, but I did see him hit her and she slap him back. No one else on set seemed to be perturbed about the incident because apparently it happened all of the time. Later on I asked her why she stayed and she looked at me and simply said, "Because I love him." I think this is the part about domestic abuse no one can quantify. Love is, and can be, most definitely blind.

The Classification Of Women's Bodies In Music Videos.

One of the more interesting topics of class tonight actually got cut short and I was so disappointed that it didn't get the adequate attention that it deserves. During one of the student presentations, a brief bit of rapper Yo Gotti's "Rake It Up" played. The segment featured Nicki Minaj as well as other women dressed provocatively and dancing to the music.

It was interesting looking at the reactions of the class when it came on. Some people turned away in disgust while others (mostly black people) bopped to the music and sang along - clearly not perturbed at see half naked women shaking their asses. I was one and of those not perturbed and found it strange that some would see things like this and say they are disgusting or demanding to women. After all, what's the difference between the above video image and this one from Taylor Swift's newest music video below?

For me, as a black woman, I think it all boils down to race. For generations, black women have had their bodies objectified. I think that, because I've seen this for my entire life, music videos full of half-naked black women dancing has never been anything for me to blink an eye at. Our bodies have always been on display for white people. I've had white men gawking at my full breasts for what feels like my entire life. This type of behavior dates back to slavery, when white men would force themselves upon (i.e. rape black women) and there was nothing we could do about it. This blog post sums it up accurately by saying that sexualization of the black female is a continuation of the slavery mindset. The blogger goes on to write:

"Sexuality was placed upon their bodies first by slave owners, then by the colonists and now popular media. Whereas before there was a legalized ownership of black bodies through the system of slavery, now the very notion of exploitation and ownership of these bodies is explained away."

While some might think it's strange that I wouldn't be appalled at watching Nikki Minaj twerk with a rake or of seeing rapper Cardi B wearing a bikini top and provocatively licking her lips, but honestly to me, it's always been the nature of the music industry beast. I'm not saying that it's right, per se, but it's a part of black culture that I don't think will be disappearing anytime soon.

It's Not OK: Sexual Harassment In The Workplace.

As women in the professional workplace, we are automatically expected to adapt to whatever rules and culture is already in place. We are expected to adhere to the men in power and do whatever they tell us to do as well as let them do what they want to us. Then, after work, we must endure the roles we are expected to perform in our homes - caring for the children, cooking the dinner, cleaning the households. There are so many expectations that women must endure on a daily basis and sexual harassment at the workplace is also something that comes with the territory.

To any normal person, this might sound appalling. It's such a shock and surprise to hear that women must be subjected to these things. That's why when the news about Harvey Weinstein came out, I was extremely annoyed to hear from people saying they they couldn't even believe it. How could this have happened? Why didn't any of these women speak up and say anything years ago? We discussed the topic of sexual harassment in the workplace and how it can happen to anyone - even men. It was very interesting to hear all of the stories from various students in the classroom sharing their experiences. I feel like I should have been shocked and surprised to hear these stories - especially coming from such young students - but I wasn't. People in power will almost always find a way to take advantage of those who aren't.

With that said, I feel like it's important for those of us graduate students who are older with more work experience to help those young students starting off in the workforce by offering them real-world advice. I have 10+ years of industry experience and I fee like I've pretty much seen and heard everything, especially when it comes to sexual harassment in the workplace. It is degrading and dirty, but I feel like it's definitely an important topic that need to discuss more openly in the future. I'm glad that Dr. Everbach brought up the Weinstein scandal tonight.

Why Is It So Hard For Black Women To Find Effective Beauty Products?

As I began work on my Project I, I decided that I wanted to write a blog post here about the problem with the black women and the beauty industry. My Project I idea is to do a qualitative analysis study on how the beauty industry markets to women of color. To complete this study, I plan on examining the September issues of several top women's fashion magazines. I also plan on examining ESSENCE magazine as away to compare the beauty ads there (which I know from personal experience of working there) should all feature black women. I also know from personal experience that, outside of ESSENCE, it's very rare to see ads like that within other publications.

I started covering the beauty industry almost immediately after completing my undergraduate work in 2004. I started as a Beauty Writer for Women's Wear Daily before working as a Beauty Editor for ESSENCE. This is when I first began to notice the difficulty in finding beauty products such as foundation and lipstick that came in the correct shades for women of color. Yes, they worked as a cosmetic should, but they never quite blended in well or they always left behind a weird top layer of white looking ash. 

I've covered this topic before for the print edition of Cosmopolitan magazine, but the question still lingers of why it's so hard for black women to find beauty products. Rihanna recently launched a collection of beauty products called Fenty Beauty exclusively for SEPHORA and the most epic part about the news is that she came right out with 40 shades of foundation. Women of color everywhere went nuts about this and shared their happiness about finally finding the perfect foundation shade for their skin tone. Obviously, I had to cover the news for Cosmo.com and I wrote a story that featured quotes from Rihanna as well as Senior Director of Fenty Beauty Management Erin O'Neill. 

This was such a fun story to write and I look forward to finishing up my project and presenting the information that I find to the class. 

The Disappearance Of Black Men In America.

Today we watched Ava Duvernay's Netflix documentary 13th.

I've seen this documentary before, but it never ceases to amaze me - not only because it's so well put together, but also because the topic hits so close to home. When I was a senior in high school, my stepdad was arrested and sent to prison in Huntsville, Texas where he served time for 16 years. He's out now, but the whole episode was really hard on my family. At the time when it happened, I was busy applying for colleges and trying to figure out a way to ace the SAT because I kept bombing the math section. (Math and I have never been a subject that got along.) It wasn't until years later that I actually looked up the reason for his arrest and, according to his paperwork, it was for a parole violation. I guess I was so wrapped up in my teenage world that I didn't even know he was on parole. I remember my parents arguing a lot during that time, but I was really into my music then (yep, super band nerd right here) and I didn't notice what they were arguing about. Anyways, my stepdad basically went to a prison for a very long time thanks to some trumped up charges the racist sheriff of my town made up in addition to the parole violation and no one fought it. To be honest, there was no money for anyone to pay for such a thing anyways.

So, time marched on and my mother never remarried. My biological father died when I was four (he was in and out of jail for reasons that no one in my family discusses) and my stepdad spent the majority of his life in prison. I also have many black male cousins who have are also locked away in prison on bogus charges. All of this to say that I can never watch 13th without catching all the feels of anger, frustration and sadness for the black men and families in America that have been affected by the topics addressed in the film.