It's (Still) Not Cool To Say The N Word.

It's 2017 and for the life of my I still can't seem to understand why people think it's ok to walk around calling black people the N word. Especially black women that are public figures such as Sharon Reed. I don't know her personally, but I've definitely watched seen her on the news before during the times that I visit Atlanta. I first noticed this segment on my Facebook timeline (someone posted it straight from their TV in real time) and I was so shocked. Apparently a reader (Kathy Rae) sent in a comment to Sharon saying she is what is "wrong with America" and called her the N word - twice.
The news segment immediately went viral - not because of what Kathy said, but because of the EPIC clapback that Sharon gave her. I thought it was pretty great that she spoke up for herself, but it made me sad to think that there are so many people in history and day-to-day life who don't have that luxury.

Growing up in a small East Texas town, I found out an early age just how racist it was. White boys called my black guy friends the N word all of the time (beginning in elementary school) and I can even remember the first time that I heard the word. I knew it had to be a bad word because of the way the white boys would say it and laugh, so I looked it up in the encyclopedia instead of asking my Mom about it. She was a school teacher and I just knew that if I asked her about it, she would drag me back to the school and demand to know from whom in the class I'd heard the word. I don't remember the exact wording in the encyclopedia, but I do remember the pictures that accompanied the word entry: black slaves.

As I grew older, I noticed that the N word became just another slang term that black people used amongst each other. When it was used this way, it didn't seem as harsh. By the time I got to college (undergraduate), it seemed that all black people said it. I never heard any white boys calling black guys this word like I did in elementary school, but I still didn't feel comfortable using the word. I've even heard some black people say that it's a term of endearment, but because I know the history of it's meaning, I disagree with that as well. All this to say, I don't think I will ever be ok with hearing black people use this word and I'm so happy that Sharon Reed called the viewer out for using it. If anything, that woman is exactly what's wrong with America today.

Colorism In America.

The topic of colorism came up in tonight's class and, as a light-skinned black woman living in America, it definitely hit close to home with me. One of the perks of being a freelance journalist is being able to pick and choose the topics that I write about. When the news came out about Rachel Dolezal pretending to be a black woman when she was actually white came out, I wrote this post for Cosmopolitan.com about how I am often mistaken for other races. 

I have literally grown up my entire life being questioned about my race. My father is dark skinned and my mother is brown - but both are black. I was born with a light complexion thanks to my grandmother (i.e. my father's mother) and red hair that later turned sandy brown by the time I was five. (I've been dying my hair blonde since my early 20's, so I have no clue as to what my natural hair color is now.) There's also the fact that I have three brothers and a stepdad - all of which have a brown to dark skin tone. Growing up, the color of people's skin never mattered to me and I never questioned why other people's family members looked the way they did. It wasn't until about second grade that I first began getting teased about my light skin by some of the other black girls in my class followed by questions about whether or not I was adopted after they saw me with my oldest brother after school. I tried to ignore the teasing and taunting, but it still hurt my feelings and I became very aware of my skin color. 

My brothers and mom (in the middle). 

As I got older, I began to realize that the questions about what race I was (by now requesting to know if my biological father is white) were never going to end. I also began to notice how my light skin tone and straight blonde hair gave me a "pass" when it came to how my darker skinned relatives and friends were treated. I was often chosen at work to represent the company at events as the "token black girl," I've had guys tell me they only wanted to date me because of my "light skin" and categorized as having "good hair" because it curls up and I'm able to straight it back out without going to the salon. 

This type of thinking dates back to the early days of slavery. Those with lighter skin were often given preferential treatment than those with darker skin. The light skin slaves worked mostly in the house while the dark skinned slaves were relegated to work in the fields. Slave masters often took on black, light-skinned women as their mistresses. Eventually, the paper bag rule - which states that you must be the same color as or lighter than a paper bag - in order to receive special privileges. I've never been one to use my skin color as a means to get better treatment nor have I ever denied my blackness simply because of the color of my skin. I'm also pretty sure that this type of thinking exists on certain levels within all cultures. It's something that - along with racism - I wish would go away. 

Why Domestic Violence Victims Don't Leave.

A student group did a presentation in class about domestic violence that featured Eminem's music video "Love the Way You Lie." Rihanna is also in the music video as she is a singer on the music track. Watching the video triggered lots of people in class - mostly female - and it was very touching hearing their stories. I even hugged a few of the women after class who shared their stories.

One of the things that I noticed most about class that evening was the argument that domestic violence abuse could be something that both parties (i.e. male and female) experience in a relationship. Dr. Everbach quickly pointed out that statistics show that it is women that suffer more at the hands of men when it comes to domestic abuse. While I do believe this to be true, I think it's only fair to point out that it is possible for men to be abused as well.

Thank goodness, I've never been in a abusive relationship, but I've seen violent fights among couples with the most notorious being Rihanna. Years ago when she was dating Chris Brown, I did some part-time work for her hairstylist. This meant that lots of times I had to show up to shoots where I actually got to meet and chat with Rihanna herself (she's really nice and down to earth) as well as hang out with her crew. Sometimes Chris would come around and they would hang out on breaks (those shoots could go on for hours!). They seemed like a really nice couple until one day he came to set and they got into a fight. I'd noticed before he arrived that Rihanna was in a bad mood and I'm not quite sure what they were arguing about, but it got physical fast. The body guards rushed over to break it up and I remember being so freaked out and wondering what the hell was going on. I didn't see the whole thing, but I did see him hit her and she slap him back. No one else on set seemed to be perturbed about the incident because apparently it happened all of the time. Later on I asked her why she stayed and she looked at me and simply said, "Because I love him." I think this is the part about domestic abuse no one can quantify. Love is, and can be, most definitely blind.

The Classification Of Women's Bodies In Music Videos.

One of the more interesting topics of class tonight actually got cut short and I was so disappointed that it didn't get the adequate attention that it deserves. During one of the student presentations, a brief bit of rapper Yo Gotti's "Rake It Up" played. The segment featured Nicki Minaj as well as other women dressed provocatively and dancing to the music.

It was interesting looking at the reactions of the class when it came on. Some people turned away in disgust while others (mostly black people) bopped to the music and sang along - clearly not perturbed at see half naked women shaking their asses. I was one and of those not perturbed and found it strange that some would see things like this and say they are disgusting or demanding to women. After all, what's the difference between the above video image and this one from Taylor Swift's newest music video below?

For me, as a black woman, I think it all boils down to race. For generations, black women have had their bodies objectified. I think that, because I've seen this for my entire life, music videos full of half-naked black women dancing has never been anything for me to blink an eye at. Our bodies have always been on display for white people. I've had white men gawking at my full breasts for what feels like my entire life. This type of behavior dates back to slavery, when white men would force themselves upon (i.e. rape black women) and there was nothing we could do about it. This blog post sums it up accurately by saying that sexualization of the black female is a continuation of the slavery mindset. The blogger goes on to write:

"Sexuality was placed upon their bodies first by slave owners, then by the colonists and now popular media. Whereas before there was a legalized ownership of black bodies through the system of slavery, now the very notion of exploitation and ownership of these bodies is explained away."

While some might think it's strange that I wouldn't be appalled at watching Nikki Minaj twerk with a rake or of seeing rapper Cardi B wearing a bikini top and provocatively licking her lips, but honestly to me, it's always been the nature of the music industry beast. I'm not saying that it's right, per se, but it's a part of black culture that I don't think will be disappearing anytime soon.

It's Not OK: Sexual Harassment In The Workplace.

As women in the professional workplace, we are automatically expected to adapt to whatever rules and culture is already in place. We are expected to adhere to the men in power and do whatever they tell us to do as well as let them do what they want to us. Then, after work, we must endure the roles we are expected to perform in our homes - caring for the children, cooking the dinner, cleaning the households. There are so many expectations that women must endure on a daily basis and sexual harassment at the workplace is also something that comes with the territory.

To any normal person, this might sound appalling. It's such a shock and surprise to hear that women must be subjected to these things. That's why when the news about Harvey Weinstein came out, I was extremely annoyed to hear from people saying they they couldn't even believe it. How could this have happened? Why didn't any of these women speak up and say anything years ago? We discussed the topic of sexual harassment in the workplace and how it can happen to anyone - even men. It was very interesting to hear all of the stories from various students in the classroom sharing their experiences. I feel like I should have been shocked and surprised to hear these stories - especially coming from such young students - but I wasn't. People in power will almost always find a way to take advantage of those who aren't.

With that said, I feel like it's important for those of us graduate students who are older with more work experience to help those young students starting off in the workforce by offering them real-world advice. I have 10+ years of industry experience and I fee like I've pretty much seen and heard everything, especially when it comes to sexual harassment in the workplace. It is degrading and dirty, but I feel like it's definitely an important topic that need to discuss more openly in the future. I'm glad that Dr. Everbach brought up the Weinstein scandal tonight.

Why Is It So Hard For Black Women To Find Effective Beauty Products?

As I began work on my Project I, I decided that I wanted to write a blog post here about the problem with the black women and the beauty industry. My Project I idea is to do a qualitative analysis study on how the beauty industry markets to women of color. To complete this study, I plan on examining the September issues of several top women's fashion magazines. I also plan on examining ESSENCE magazine as away to compare the beauty ads there (which I know from personal experience of working there) should all feature black women. I also know from personal experience that, outside of ESSENCE, it's very rare to see ads like that within other publications.

I started covering the beauty industry almost immediately after completing my undergraduate work in 2004. I started as a Beauty Writer for Women's Wear Daily before working as a Beauty Editor for ESSENCE. This is when I first began to notice the difficulty in finding beauty products such as foundation and lipstick that came in the correct shades for women of color. Yes, they worked as a cosmetic should, but they never quite blended in well or they always left behind a weird top layer of white looking ash. 

I've covered this topic before for the print edition of Cosmopolitan magazine, but the question still lingers of why it's so hard for black women to find beauty products. Rihanna recently launched a collection of beauty products called Fenty Beauty exclusively for SEPHORA and the most epic part about the news is that she came right out with 40 shades of foundation. Women of color everywhere went nuts about this and shared their happiness about finally finding the perfect foundation shade for their skin tone. Obviously, I had to cover the news for Cosmo.com and I wrote a story that featured quotes from Rihanna as well as Senior Director of Fenty Beauty Management Erin O'Neill. 

This was such a fun story to write and I look forward to finishing up my project and presenting the information that I find to the class. 

The Disappearance Of Black Men In America.

Today we watched Ava Duvernay's Netflix documentary 13th.

I've seen this documentary before, but it never ceases to amaze me - not only because it's so well put together, but also because the topic hits so close to home. When I was a senior in high school, my stepdad was arrested and sent to prison in Huntsville, Texas where he served time for 16 years. He's out now, but the whole episode was really hard on my family. At the time when it happened, I was busy applying for colleges and trying to figure out a way to ace the SAT because I kept bombing the math section. (Math and I have never been a subject that got along.) It wasn't until years later that I actually looked up the reason for his arrest and, according to his paperwork, it was for a parole violation. I guess I was so wrapped up in my teenage world that I didn't even know he was on parole. I remember my parents arguing a lot during that time, but I was really into my music then (yep, super band nerd right here) and I didn't notice what they were arguing about. Anyways, my stepdad basically went to a prison for a very long time thanks to some trumped up charges the racist sheriff of my town made up in addition to the parole violation and no one fought it. To be honest, there was no money for anyone to pay for such a thing anyways.

So, time marched on and my mother never remarried. My biological father died when I was four (he was in and out of jail for reasons that no one in my family discusses) and my stepdad spent the majority of his life in prison. I also have many black male cousins who have are also locked away in prison on bogus charges. All of this to say that I can never watch 13th without catching all the feels of anger, frustration and sadness for the black men and families in America that have been affected by the topics addressed in the film.

The Whitewashing Of Black Women In Magazines.

Today's class about body culture in advertising proved to be very interesting to me not only because it addressed how women are portrayed in the media, but also because this is a topic that touches close to home. As a former full-time magazine editor, I've seen the work that goes into creating the cover images that the public sees on the front of the magazines. And by work, I mean the extensive Photoshopping that's usually done.

One of the first shoots that I ever worked on was in the early 2000's and featured Beyonce. Not only did I have the opportunity to attend the shoot, but I was also given the opportunity to meet her. Such exciting times for new magazine editor such as myself! While I worked predominantly in the Beauty department (my official title was Beauty Editor ) but I was also a part of the Cover team. This meant some of my work duties included providing assistance to the editors on the team which included shuttling completed pages back and forth in the office for approval. I remember being so shocked to see the Editor-In-Chief of the magazine give her orders as to what she wanted Beyonce to look like after viewing all of the images. I thought she looked perfect, but nope. The Art Editor spent hours whittling down her waistline, lightening her skin tone, toning down the size and shape of her hips, nose and lips. It was disgusting and I was appalled. I remember even asking the Art Editor about the work she was going and whether or not she hated it. She sighed and said "It's just a job, not a big deal" and continued carving away at the image.

I later learned after attending some of the business meetings at Time, Inc. that this Photoshopping work was done to black females based off of research done that showed what people responded best to. It should have been surprising to see that light-skinned celebrities with long hair always skewed the highest when it came to sales. But, it wasn't. It doesn't seem like there will ever be a time or date when we as black women aren't being whitewashed.

EXTRA CREDIT POST: Three Things I Learned On A Civil Rights Tour In Alabama.

As a freelance journalist, I sometimes get to do really cool things like go on press trips. I've been on some pretty amazing ones, but this one definitely takes the cake as one of the best.

I received an invitation from the state of Alabama Tourist Board (officially named Sweet Home Alabama) to come on a Civil Rights Tour. The trip would last a weekend and myself, as well as 5-6 other journalists/bloggers would get to visit places such as The King Center in Atlanta, GA and the Alabama Archives in Montgomery, Ala. I love history so obviously I packed a bag and set off to the airport to begin the tour. Here's what I learned:

1. It might behoove black people to take on (and actually practice) some of Dr. Martin Luther King's ideals today. Pretty much everything that Dr. King preached about - more specifically - the importance of banding together in a non-violent manner - still rings true today. We started the tour in on Wednesday, September 13 Atlanta with a visit to the King Center. Also known as the Center for Nonviolent Social Change, it was established in 1968 by Coretta Scott King. While there, we got to view all kinds of King's memorabilia and I learned more in-depth information about his nonviolence ideals. One of King's greatest gifts was that he was able to successfully get black people to band together and fight (without raising their fists or use weapons) in order to gain their rights. Of course, this movement was not without its challenges, but I believe this is definitely something that black people could do today when it comes to getting equal treatment in today's society.

2. You are responsible for your own education. The next day (Thursday, September 14) we visited the Rosa Parks/Dexter Parsonage Museum in Montgomery, Ala. The woman giving the tour (Dr. Cherry) didn't allow us to record her or take her photo (which was kinda weird) but she was a really smart woman. (I still managed to snap a pic with her anyways hahaha) The home we toured is where Dr. King and his family lived from 1954-59 and you could even still see the dents on the front porch where bombs went off. (Lots of people were obviously upset about the bus boycott.) Dr. Cherry informed us that Dr. King received multiple death threats daily via phone and, no matter how scared he got, he continued his work. One thing he always did was to read and research everything and Dr. Cherry said that he was very good at taking responsibility for learning everything he could. She talked to us about the importance of education and that it was especially important for black people to get as much as we could. She was extra proud of me after hearing that I'm currently in graduate school working on a Master's degree.

3. There will be things in life that will break your heart, but you must never let it break your spirit. As part of the tour, we got to visit Selma, Ala. and our tour guide was a woman who survived Bloody Sunday. On February 17, 1965, a state trooper fatally shot Jimmie Lee Jackson in Marion. A protest march from Selma to Montgomery was scheduled and on March 7, John Lewis and Hosea Williams lead a group of 600 black people across the Edmund Pettus Bridge. The peaceful marchers were met by armed state troopers who attacked them. This was the catalyst for the march led by Dr. king and Rev. Ralph Abernathy to the State Capitol. I learned about the death of housewife Viola Gregg Liuzzo, a white woman who was killed at the hands of racists while trying to help blacks who were being attacked by state troopers and was horrified. Actually, I was horrified by all of it. While I'd certainly heard all about these events, walking the streets of Selma and across the Edmund Pettus Bridge made the events more vivid in my mind. But, our tour guide said that although the events during that time broke her heart, it never broke her spirit. These words stuck with me.

Overall the trip was very eye opening. Since returning, I've checked out tons of books about the Civil Rights Movement because, as it turns out, most everything that I learned in school doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of what really happened during that time.

Black In America.

A young black woman cried in my first day of Race, Gender & The Media class.

It was a young black woman with long lashes and short hair seated in the front row.

I'd heard from previous students that this was easily something that could happen. (Heated debates and arguments is another issue that others promise will crop up.) Also, Dr. Everbach warned us at the beginning of class that tears were likely to happen as it happened just about every semester of the class.

We'd just finished viewing Vice's Charlottesville: Race And Terror, which gave an in-depth close-up of the recent "Unite The Right" rally held last month in Charlottesville, Virginia. VICE News Tonight Correspondent Elle Reeve - a blonde-haired white woman wearing hipster looking metal framed glasses - took a camera guy to the march where she interviewed several of top white nationalists, alt-righters and neo-Nazis. It was scary watching people spew so many hateful words and thoughts in regards to race and what they believe the future of America to look like.

I'd previously watched the video on my own when it was released and, from a journalistic standpoint, thought it to be extremely interesting. I think that the correspondent, Elle, asked some great questions and I applauded her bravery for inserting herself in the middle of those crazies to get the story. I feel like, at the end of the day, this is what journalism is all about.

However, as a black woman, I found the whole thing to be super sad and disturbing. So, when that student began crying in class, I felt her pain. She said that people may not like the content of the video, but for her it was all about her skin color. It's not as if you can change the skin color you are born with. She was (rightly) afraid for her life and the rest of black America and - on most days - I feel the exact same way. I worry about not just myself, but more so for my beautiful son. I want to protect him from all of the hate in the world, but I know that's just something that I can't realistically do. It saddens me to know that he - along with the rest of the black people that I know - will forever have a hard time existing in this country as long as racists like those shown in the Vice documentary are alive.